“Ask and
receive, that your joy may be full.”- John16:24
Exactly one year ago I was in a
high stress corporate job in the fashion industry. I found myself full. Full of
anxiety, my schedule was full, my mind was full of racing thoughts and concerns. I was at my ropes end. I was working 15
hour days and felt empty at the end of it, yet my life was so “full”. I asked the
Lord on my knees to reveal Himself to me in ways I had never seen or heard Him,
and to show me His will for my life.
To make an extremely long story “short”
or short-er, the Lord completely answered my prayers in ways I would have never
fathomed. I had never heard His voice through scripture before and He clearly
showed me I was supposed to “go”… but I didn’t know where. I grew up in LA,
never having a desire to go on overseas missions, so this threw me for a loop…
One day I was with my friends and a
documentary was on called Rescued, a CNN special about Haiti, particularly
focused on the orphanages at Child Hope. I LOST IT! My heart was flipped upside
down in a way I had never felt before. I’d seen documentaries and heard about
Haiti many times, but my heart was closed. The Holy Spirit soften my heart through prayer as I was
seeking Gods will for my life, and this documentary played a huge role. I later
looked at a friend’s facebook page with Haiti pictures, and found myself
sobbing, but also having spurts of joy and overwhelming love for these people I
had never met. I stared praying specifically about Haiti and if it had anything
to do with my future, and the Lord led me to a verse:
“How
beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news, who
publishes peace, who brings good news of happiness, who publishes salvation,
who says to Zion, you God reigns.” – Isaiah 52:7
To me, this verse was clear that
the Lord wanted me to share the good news of his redemption and saving grace to
lost people, but who? I felt strongly that I was supposed to look up Haiti in
Wikipedia while praying for the country of Haiti (maybe to learn more about it
and know how to pray more specific) but the first thing I read was, “Haiti,
meaning the land of many high mountains.” As soon as I read that, I was quickly
reminded that the verse He had given me was how beautiful upon the mountains… I definitely saw the
correlation, but it was confirmed in my soul. I knew at that moment God was
calling me to Haiti, a 3rd world country I knew nothing about, and I
dropped to my knees and said, “I’ll go.”
Since this was seemingly overnight
to my friends and family, and it was nothing I ever showed interest in, it came
as a shock to many at first, but quickly their response was, “of course… those
babies!!!!” I have always loved children, but never knew I would use that in
this capacity.
Soon after this decision, I quit my
job and had nothing lined up, just trusting the Lord would show me what to do
next, knowing Haiti was in the future. A few weeks after quitting, my church
Reality LA announced they were taking a team over to Haiti… of course I signed
up. My first trip to Haiti was in November of 2011 and God used Haiti and the
people of Haiti to forever change my life. Where I was full of anxiety and
stress, my life is now full of joy and peace, even in the difficulties. When I
called on God to reveal Himself , He was already waiting there for me to ask. I
have never seen my God in such beautiful ways, and I know this is just the
beginning.
After the feeding program, all the
kids from the orphanage get to come over and play. I was standing in the Bens
and Jefflina practically ambushes me. My first trip on my very first day, she
sat on my lap on the way to church and grabbed my hand the rest of the day to
show me around and sat on my lap everywhere. I have a special place in my heart
for her. Jefflina doesn’t have any parents due to their mental illness. Being
with her today you would never know the hardships she’s already had to endure
as a 5 year old. She is absolutely fearless and little miss personality. She
loved jumping off the tall wall into my arms with her eyes closed and arms open
wide. She’s got a lot of faith. I pray she can run into the arms of her Savior
the way she jumped so freely into mine.
Saturday night was the street
ministry worship night put on by the orphanage kids and a handful of kids show
up that we also see at the feeding program. As the worship music got louder and
louder, little Adanika fell asleep in my arms as we sang to Jesus. I felt so at
peace, I don’t blame her for resting. She is only 3 years old and her mother
died right in front of her at the earthquake 2 years ago pushing her out of the
house as it crumbled on top of her.
Adanika’s 8 year old brother Stanley (who I love) took care of her and 3
other brothers and sisters until they were all accepted into the orphanage a
little while after the quake. Adanika
is a sassy little girl who always has me cracking up with her little swag in
her step after she does something cool or the funny things she says.
After putting Adanika to bed, I
walked outside the house and all the street boys I helped teach English to on
the last trip were waiting and all smothered me with hugs and kisses, saying
they were so glad I returned and they missed me so much. I can’t tell you what
this feels like, other than the fullest joy I’ve ever had and I can’t believe
the Lord has blessed me in this way. Although I know this journey is going to
be extremely difficult, the times like this make it so worthwhile, I wouldn’t
want to be anywhere else.
How good is our God to satisfy the
desires of our hearts, and even some we don’t know are there! To Him be the
Glory!!!
Christa...(this is gretchen's sister, courtney) that was a beautiful beautiful post! i am in tears. I look forward to hearing more about your and Ray's time in Haiti and the work the Lord is doing in and through you. Praying for you two!
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