I Love You: Christa

(Adnaika fell asleep at worship)

It’s been such a blessing to hear from readers, thanks for following this journey!! Well, Wednesday nights is worship night at the Boys Home and Ruth, the Haitian Nanny/Mentor and Arianna, the girl who started the orphanage, lead it. Both of their voices are just breathtaking, but it is also a very powerful night.

We had the feeding program that day and I was feeling pretty exhausted, and my stomach was turning (normal…) so I wasn’t sure if I would even make it. I am so glad I did. The little kids all go to a big basket to get different noise makers… also known as instruments such as maracas and tambourines to join in on the beautiful music being played by all orphanage kids. I decided to take a step back and stand all the way in the back to observe the evening instead of holding a kid in the midst of it. As I stand there worshiping the Lord for who He is, something happened in my heart and I melted. I opened my eyes and took a look around, and I saw young children of God lifting their hands held high to their Savior singing at the top of their lungs with great enthusiasm.  Ages spanning from 8 up to 18, they knew their ultimate need was taken care of, their salvation has been paid for.

As soon as I saw Ti-Junior with his hands lifted up, I started getting that knot in my throat… the waterworks were coming. (I’ll share Ti-Junior's story later). I just stood there in complete awe of the Lord… for more reasons than I can blog about tonight, but I think at that moment, it started to sink in that I am in Haiti for a long stay. This isn’t a week trip and I am here to love on these kids and share the hope and freedom, redemption and peace that the Lord has for them. I was overwhelmed that God picked me. Before the foundations of the earth, the Lord knew that in this time of my life, I would be here, in Haiti, where I’ve never been more joyful. And He also knew what I would have to endure to get me to this point in my life. It had me thinking about all the other things I would be doing or places I would be, and nothing compares to this. Would I rather be in a cubical? I couldn’t fathom it. Why am I so blessed to be here? God knows our hearts better than we do, and He chose to send me to a place I knew nothing about, to explode and melt my heart.

During worship, you could feel the presence of God in this place. We were given an opportunity to pray with someone we felt led to pray for, so Cindy, the Boys House mom originally from San Clemente, came over to Rachel and I to pray over us and our stay here. I prayed over a visitor Natalya, sensing she was having a hard time preparing to leave, but wanting to stay more long term. After worship, there was a teaching about "loving our enemies", like cooking dinner for a family member that wronged you that day, but that we need the power of the Holy Spirit to change our hearts, because none of us naturally want to do that. I stayed sitting on the ground leaning against the wall with Nat as she held a sleeping Estaline and Ray and she held a sleeping Daphne. I look over to my side and I see Keso, around 12, sitting by my side, but not trying to talk to me, just listening to the message being preached. Someone started talking about the stars and how bright they are here, and with no hesitation, he laid his head on my lap and stared up into the beautiful night sky and tried to teach me how to say star in Creole, which is zetwal (took my only 7 tries…). As he gazed up at the zetwal, I had my hand on his belly to show him I care for him. After a while, he reached in his pocket and pulled out a little laminated pamphlet in English. He pointed to a sentence and asked me to read it to him. It said:

YOU SAY: “I am alone and no one loves me” 

So I read it to him, sad that this may be how he was feeling. My heart sunk a little bit. He was extremely neglected as a younger kid. Then he pointed to the next line:

GOD SAYS: “I love you more than you can understand and will always be with you.”

I go to read this to him and I added, “and Christa does too.” He quickly looked up at me with those dimples, said “Christa” in his raspy Creole accent and snuggled up close for the rest of the program. I hope that this is a beginning to an open door to talk to him about some difficult things in his past and pray for him. I pray that Keso would know that “no height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate [him] from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” - Rom. 8:39 and that he would “…comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that [he] may be filled with all the fullness of God.” - Eph. 3:18-19. We also have dancing to hip-hop in common, so we will get a long great ; ) He has some great moves… I’ll try to catch it on camera and post it!

 (My boys!!! Left: Keso, Right: Stanley Front: Yvenel after worship)

            Thursday was “God Day” … apparently Haitians will celebrate anything they can make up to celebrate, so the kids had no school. In place of school, they held a soccer game, basketball game, dance party and some games. The dancing was of course my favorite part... the kids all have such good rhythm, it makes for a fun time!

(Me and Ti-Junior) 

I’ve noticed that Ti-Junior is one of the first kids to come give me a sweet hug and a big warm welcome every time I see him. He lets me cut him in line for handball too, putting others ahead of himself. But today he made sure to say goodbye and gave me a great big hug and said, “Crreeesta (Creole accent),  juv you.” I didn’t understand him at first, so I asked him what he said… his English is still broken. My first trip to Haiti 6 months ago was the week Ti-Junior got accepted into the orphanage. Prior to that week, he was always in the same clothes just running around the streets with no parents or supervision of any kind, sleeping in an abandoned church, and coming to the Orphanage Feeding Program to get his only meals. When he would get there, he would be kicked out for erratic behavior, often getting into physical fights. Now, he is so grateful for his new brothers and sisters, a safe place to lay his head at night, good meals, and his new found relationship with the Lord. When I heard him repeat, “I love you” my heart melted and I of course told him with a big hug that I loved him too. I know this is the first time he's been able to just be a kid and not fend for his life. It brings me to tears, I just feel so honored to love him. 

“I will not leave you orphans; I will come to you.” – John 14:18

(Me and Stanley)