God Bless Amerika: Christa

“Our body is like a tent we live in here on earth. When it is destroyed, we know that God has another body for us in heaven. The new one will not be made by human hands as a house is made. This body will last forever. It is God who has made us ready for this change. He has given us His Spirit to show us what He has for us.” - 2 Cor 5:1,5

          
 I can’t help but think of this passage as I look at Amerika running around the Feeding Program. Her frail bones look like they could shatter at any small trip and those sad eyes have so much pain behind them. Amerkia lives in the tent city and is most likely only fed 3 times a week at this program. She has numerous brothers and sister and her mother is mentally unstable. The mother will often tell you she herself is 9 years old, when in fact she is probably around 30+. Needless to say, these kids are devastatingly uncared for.

The first time I met Amerika in November, I was put in charge of her to make sure she ate all her food. Because she is (probably) autistic, the kids in the neighborhood treat her like dirt, pushing her down, slapping her arms as she walks by and even taking her food from her. Any kind of disorder or deformities are strongly looked down upon in this culture and treated very differently. Watching the kids treat her like this broke my heart and the mama bear inside of me scooped her up to get her into safe arms.

About a year ago, she was so skinny they thought she was going to die, often fainting in your arms from dehydration. Her hair was bright orange, showing signs of major malnutrition. As she sat on my lap to eat, I experienced something that changed me forever. I have never seen a child inhale food like that. She was so hungry, I was scared she was going to choke. She would tip the bowl over to stack as much beans and rice on her spoon and shove it all in her mouth as fast as she could, scooping up the next bite before she could even swallow her first.



 Something in your heart changes when you see a child that hungry get a meal and clean water. I did my best to get her to eat a gummy vitamin, but she spit it out about 5 times. I think the combination of the sugar and the gummy texture hurt her teeth, which are probably starting to rot due to lack of care.  I pray for her whenever I have her in my arms.

In 2 Corinthians 4:16-18, I’m reminded that, “we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.” As we look not to the things that are seen, such as Amerika’s suffering and all the shortcomings and trials of her young fragile life, but to the things that are unseen, one day the full restoration of all things, including Amerika, at the resurrection to come, and the sure fulfillment of God’s purposes for history. Eternal refers not to timelessness but to that which lasts forever.

Having her here at the program after one year she looks like a different child… although she is not to perfect health, she actually runs around with a smile and her hair is a beautiful brown, fashionably braided. Its been such a joy to see Amerika in better spirits. I have played a chasing game with her to give her kisses and she just melts with laughter when she finally gets caught and attacked with my kisses. I call her trè bèl, which means very pretty in Creole, and she laughs and smiles and I just am so encouraged to see her on a healthy path. 
Her brothers also come to the feeding program. Dupren is 11 and he helps watch over the younger kids as the program is in process. His smile will melt your heart and he is always so shy, but is glad to give you hugs when you pursue him for them. He is hanging out with the older street boys so we are praying he doesn’t get caught up in the destructive path a lot of those boys get caught up in. His best friends are at least 4 years older than him, but are making an effort to learn about Jesus and they come to church with the pastor’s wife, Josie. Dupren and his best friends, Jeff (16) and Eddlie (15) are making jewelry with Josie a few days a week to help make a little extra money for their families.

Her other brother, Jameson (4) is often found running around the program non-stop! He has so much energy, it’s overwhelming. He most likely has ADHD and then his diet (or lack there of), causes him to be a dezoid (which is ‘troublemaker’ in Creole). We often see him chomping on sugar cane, and that may be the only thing he ate that day, so its no wonder he is bouncing off the walls. We are frequently just monitoring him to keep his clothes on… He thinks its funny to pull all his clothes off and run around. But once you catch him, and you have him tight in your loving arms, he finally feels loved and falls asleep. Finally.

This family is so dear to all of our hearts. The Manassero family has tried taking them in for 7 years now, but the mother will not give them over. She has been known to sell her body when she has no money, so we are praying against her giving her children over to this devastating alternative to earning money. Needless to say, none of them know their father. Please pray that they would know the love of their perfect Father in heaven.

“For my father and my mother have forsaken me, but the Lord will take me in.” 

-Psalm 27:10

Dinosaur Eyes: Ray

 

            A few weeks ago, at the feeding program, as I scanned over the mass of dark, beautiful, expressive faces waiting in line to be seated for food, I came in a locked stare with the eyes above. Standing taller than all of the other heads was a lighter skinned boy, arms at his side, with a look that could break your heart, but a face that had these piercing eyes. He looked sad or hurt. Having never seen him at any feeding program before on either of my last two trips or up to this point on this one, I was interested. I couldn't break the stare. I smiled and he let out a small, but barely there smirk. As the feeding program went on, I continued to smile and he just continued to look back at me. Normally, if I want to talk to or love on kid I just go and pick them up. This wasn't going to be that easy as he was a boy and an older one, at least 12. Not knowing if he spoke any English and being a bit timid on my Creole speaking skills, I said nothing.  I did however inquire about him to Susette (mom of the family who started Child Hope) and Chillup (who runs the feeding program) to see if they knew anything about him. They did not, but spoke with him and gave him extra food and water. I continued to watch him while washing dishes, waiting to see a real smile. Then it happened! It was like I had struck a pot of gold! From that smile, it was like his arms just wrapped themselves around my heart and I wouldn't be able to shake them even if I tried. He made sure to come say bye to me that day before leaving and I must admit my heart melted a little.

           Now Jimsteve is one of the older helpers at the feeding program and I get to see that smile a lot more often... along with a hug or nudge when he is feeling generous. ;) I made him a friendship bracelet made from yarn (just about the only thing we are allowed to give the kids) and we have had broken conversations here and there. I am not sure of his full background, but I know that he lives in the tent city down the street and has two pairs of shoes and does not go to school. I pray for his heart, his safety and health, and his future and I ask that you join me in prayer for Jimsteve. Pray that he does not fall in to the street boy mentality, but grows to have a personal relationship with the Lord. 

My Soul Reedemed

             

We met a young man at worship the other night named Emmanuel, whose smile lit up the dark night sky. We later had the opportunity and complete honor of talking to him at dinner about his testimony. As Emmanuel sat down to tell us about his day, we quickly saw that this boy was in fact quite an outstanding young man of God. He started with asking us some heart-searching questions. His first, “What is the most important thing you ask God for everyday?” We talked about asking for the power of the Holy Spirit to give us understanding of the Lord's will and of scripture. We talked about love and forgiveness and to see His people the way He sees them. It was neat to see a piece of his heart in what He prayed for everyday. The next question broke our hearts before we could answer it, knowing by the look in his eyes that it was not hypothetical, but instead coming from a place of true emotion and past hurt... “If someone killed your dad and your only sister, how do you forgive them? What do you do?”

Stomachs sank and knots in the throat formed. After attempting to keep ourselves together and knowing we could not relate, we shared biblically how we are to forgive and find closure and comfort in Jesus when no one on earth can bring us healing in that way. He then began to share of his devastating loss of his family. At the young age of 10, Emmanuel experienced the power and devastating results of voodoo when his father and sister were murdered through someone’s curse upon them.

We have heard a few stories of how people use voodoo to kill and one we heard the other day was bone chilling. With walls filled with skulls cemented together, a voodoo practicing women lived behind her shrine and proved to someone how she can suck the life out of her prey from outside of their house. She demonstrated this by having an outsider place a ripe and good watermelon inside the house in an unspecified area. After reciting voodoo practices, the women told them to go back inside to get the watermelon, representing a life she potentially preyed on. The person came out with the watermelon in one piece, but when it was sliced in half it was absolutely hollow with only seeds left inside. She explained that this is how she sucks the blood out of her victims from outside the houses to give her life and power.

This may have been a similar curse upon Emmanuel’s family or it may have been a physical attack, but either way, it was devastating. We just wanted to hold him as we sat there fighting off tears and staring into his big eyes. At age 10, one of the only ideas of his future this young boy had was to murder the people that killed his family. Emmanuel fought feelings of brokenness, fear, and anger with no relief or form of coping. Emmanuel himself was raised in a voodoo practicing family, but by the grace of God, at the age of 12, his mother and grandmother were saved and gave their lives to Jesus giving them complete redemption of their past involvement in very demonic activities. Emmanuel soon thereafter found the Lord himself.

Emmanuel is 20 now and he ended his testimony with his redemption story. He was baptized this last year and loves the Lord above all else. He shared his dreams of being an architect, to go to the states to get better education, and then come back to Haiti to empower his own people to build this nation back up. He shared his hopes and desires for a wife who loves the Lord and wants to help him raise his kids to live their lives for Christ. He wants a wife that will do worship nights and bible studies with him as he leads his family in the way of the Word. It was so encouraging and refreshing to see such a young person really pursuing God’s will and being content with where He has him now.

  He said recently he saw a shrine of voodoo idols outside someone’s house and he watered it down and swept it away. With the power of the Holy Spirit and the healing of Jesus, he no longer had feelings of pain and anger towards those people who killed his family, but feelings of freedom and a new found urgency to pray for those involved in voodoo. His struggle with wanting to kill the people who took his family, is now a desire for them to have a new-found life in Jesus Christ.  This is radical proof of the transforming power of the Holy Spirit in his heart. He no longer lives in fear of voodoo or people, but in the promises of God. A quote that he said that we will never forget reads "They can kill the body, but they cannot kill my soul. My soul is for the Lord.

Emmanuel mentioned how scared he was to share his testimony, but now sees how powerful it is and how God can use it to show His power in healing and redemption. Emmanuel has asked for prayer in boldness. He knows God has given him this story to proclaim God's glory, but he wants to overcome his fear and share his testimony to a bigger group of people who need to witness the healing power of Jesus and overcome tragic wounds of the past. 

            We were able to end our time with praying over him and we ask that you join us and be in continual prayer for him as well.   

"They can kill the body, but they cannot kill my soul. My soul is for the Lord" -Emmanuel Victor, 20

                                                                           

Happy Birthday Grandma!: Christa

Dear Grandma,

Happy 80th Birthday!!! I am sad to not be with the whole family in Colorado to celebrate, but today was a special day in Haiti as well. I hope you had an absolutely amazing time, can't wait to hear all about it! 
I fed a sick baby from the tent city who I never once saw crack a smile, but after I fed her and gave her plenty of water, she felt so much better I finally saw her light up with a smile for the first time in weeks as we gave her a toothbrush! (exciting, I know!)
It was also Willie's 16th birthday. He lost both of his parents at a young age and his birthday is often a reminder he doesn't have any parents to celebrate with, so we did our best to cheer him up and throw him a cupcake party. I hope you had lots of delicious treats as well! I love you so much and miss you tons!!! 

 

 

 

Whisper: Ray

We have officially been here over a week and I can’t even fathom how I was only here for that long on my last two trips!  One team has gone and another has arrived. It already has been such a fun time getting to know the different people that come. Everyone has their own story and their own perfectly orchestrated plan by God on how and why they are in Haiti. God knit Christa’s heart and my heart together in Haiti on our last trip, and I am so very blessed by her and what a gift she is. Knowing her heart for children, and for the Lord, and watching her serve Him by loving them is incredible. We have been going through Beth Moore’s James bible study in the morning and it has been a wonderful time of prayer and fellowship together. We are able to pray for our kids, for our day, our relationship, and that God’s will be done before the day even starts. 

Wednesday afternoon was yet another feeding program. I look into the sea of dark faces and am in awe of how beautiful they are.  This week had the amazing blessing of feeding and rocking Vatchna to sleep. Vatchna is one of the little girls who hang in my hallway back in LA. I have seen her face day after day, but seeing her again looking bigger and happier is an answer to prayer. 

Like Gibs said below, Wednesday night is worship with the kids. I am holding Daphne, 7, in my arms while worshipping. As she falls asleep in my arms while singing ‘How Great is Our God’, I was able to pray aloud over her, her life, and her heart. Daphne lost both of her parents when she was just years old, and was brought to the orphanage by an aunt how couldn't afford to take care of her along with her own children. Although she was very small and malnourished, she is now one of the most energetic, funny, and outgoing girls here. During the message being taught, I was sitting against the wall with sleeping Daphne on me, staring up at the stars in a clear sky, with the most perfect gentle breeze. It reminded me of I Kings 19 when the Lord reveals Himself to Elijah. 

“The Lord said, ‘Go out and stand in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.’ Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.”  

 Elijah knew that it was God and then went and stood in the mouth of the cave. With my arms full in a place that he has called me, I feel so blessed to serve a God that is willing to reveal Himself to me and show up like He promises. 

 

I Love You: Christa

(Adnaika fell asleep at worship)

It’s been such a blessing to hear from readers, thanks for following this journey!! Well, Wednesday nights is worship night at the Boys Home and Ruth, the Haitian Nanny/Mentor and Arianna, the girl who started the orphanage, lead it. Both of their voices are just breathtaking, but it is also a very powerful night.

We had the feeding program that day and I was feeling pretty exhausted, and my stomach was turning (normal…) so I wasn’t sure if I would even make it. I am so glad I did. The little kids all go to a big basket to get different noise makers… also known as instruments such as maracas and tambourines to join in on the beautiful music being played by all orphanage kids. I decided to take a step back and stand all the way in the back to observe the evening instead of holding a kid in the midst of it. As I stand there worshiping the Lord for who He is, something happened in my heart and I melted. I opened my eyes and took a look around, and I saw young children of God lifting their hands held high to their Savior singing at the top of their lungs with great enthusiasm.  Ages spanning from 8 up to 18, they knew their ultimate need was taken care of, their salvation has been paid for.

As soon as I saw Ti-Junior with his hands lifted up, I started getting that knot in my throat… the waterworks were coming. (I’ll share Ti-Junior's story later). I just stood there in complete awe of the Lord… for more reasons than I can blog about tonight, but I think at that moment, it started to sink in that I am in Haiti for a long stay. This isn’t a week trip and I am here to love on these kids and share the hope and freedom, redemption and peace that the Lord has for them. I was overwhelmed that God picked me. Before the foundations of the earth, the Lord knew that in this time of my life, I would be here, in Haiti, where I’ve never been more joyful. And He also knew what I would have to endure to get me to this point in my life. It had me thinking about all the other things I would be doing or places I would be, and nothing compares to this. Would I rather be in a cubical? I couldn’t fathom it. Why am I so blessed to be here? God knows our hearts better than we do, and He chose to send me to a place I knew nothing about, to explode and melt my heart.

During worship, you could feel the presence of God in this place. We were given an opportunity to pray with someone we felt led to pray for, so Cindy, the Boys House mom originally from San Clemente, came over to Rachel and I to pray over us and our stay here. I prayed over a visitor Natalya, sensing she was having a hard time preparing to leave, but wanting to stay more long term. After worship, there was a teaching about "loving our enemies", like cooking dinner for a family member that wronged you that day, but that we need the power of the Holy Spirit to change our hearts, because none of us naturally want to do that. I stayed sitting on the ground leaning against the wall with Nat as she held a sleeping Estaline and Ray and she held a sleeping Daphne. I look over to my side and I see Keso, around 12, sitting by my side, but not trying to talk to me, just listening to the message being preached. Someone started talking about the stars and how bright they are here, and with no hesitation, he laid his head on my lap and stared up into the beautiful night sky and tried to teach me how to say star in Creole, which is zetwal (took my only 7 tries…). As he gazed up at the zetwal, I had my hand on his belly to show him I care for him. After a while, he reached in his pocket and pulled out a little laminated pamphlet in English. He pointed to a sentence and asked me to read it to him. It said:

YOU SAY: “I am alone and no one loves me” 

So I read it to him, sad that this may be how he was feeling. My heart sunk a little bit. He was extremely neglected as a younger kid. Then he pointed to the next line:

GOD SAYS: “I love you more than you can understand and will always be with you.”

I go to read this to him and I added, “and Christa does too.” He quickly looked up at me with those dimples, said “Christa” in his raspy Creole accent and snuggled up close for the rest of the program. I hope that this is a beginning to an open door to talk to him about some difficult things in his past and pray for him. I pray that Keso would know that “no height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate [him] from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” - Rom. 8:39 and that he would “…comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that [he] may be filled with all the fullness of God.” - Eph. 3:18-19. We also have dancing to hip-hop in common, so we will get a long great ; ) He has some great moves… I’ll try to catch it on camera and post it!

 (My boys!!! Left: Keso, Right: Stanley Front: Yvenel after worship)

            Thursday was “God Day” … apparently Haitians will celebrate anything they can make up to celebrate, so the kids had no school. In place of school, they held a soccer game, basketball game, dance party and some games. The dancing was of course my favorite part... the kids all have such good rhythm, it makes for a fun time!

(Me and Ti-Junior) 

I’ve noticed that Ti-Junior is one of the first kids to come give me a sweet hug and a big warm welcome every time I see him. He lets me cut him in line for handball too, putting others ahead of himself. But today he made sure to say goodbye and gave me a great big hug and said, “Crreeesta (Creole accent),  juv you.” I didn’t understand him at first, so I asked him what he said… his English is still broken. My first trip to Haiti 6 months ago was the week Ti-Junior got accepted into the orphanage. Prior to that week, he was always in the same clothes just running around the streets with no parents or supervision of any kind, sleeping in an abandoned church, and coming to the Orphanage Feeding Program to get his only meals. When he would get there, he would be kicked out for erratic behavior, often getting into physical fights. Now, he is so grateful for his new brothers and sisters, a safe place to lay his head at night, good meals, and his new found relationship with the Lord. When I heard him repeat, “I love you” my heart melted and I of course told him with a big hug that I loved him too. I know this is the first time he's been able to just be a kid and not fend for his life. It brings me to tears, I just feel so honored to love him. 

“I will not leave you orphans; I will come to you.” – John 14:18

(Me and Stanley)

Welcome Weekend: Chiklèt

Estaline wants gum...

This is Estaline. She is one of the youngest girls here at Maison De Luminiere, the orphanage at Child Hope. She is physically very small for her age, but that does NOT carry over into her personality. Everyone who meets her, understandably and instantly falls in love. She is a little comedian, has an infectious smile, and sass beyond belief. She also LOVES gum! This is her way of trying to get it from me.